The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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