i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
