I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
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