it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
