I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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