Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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