I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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