so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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