THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.