ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
