do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
