it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
