I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
