Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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