i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
