Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
