That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
