She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
