I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
