im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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