you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize