i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
