This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
