I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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