I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
