Porn is love you can see.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
