mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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