Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
