whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
