I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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