toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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