He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
