And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize