are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
