gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
