I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
