Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just want nice things and good sex
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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