Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
