I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
