Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
