I wanna passion pit in your ass
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
