This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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