Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
