Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
