its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
