I just pynch a tree in the face
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
