He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize