no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
