a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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