so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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