he puts the penis in happiness.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
