it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
