that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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