This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize