i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
