I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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