did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
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