I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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