So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
